Sex problems – who can help us?

December 6, 2009

Question

I understand that you may view this problem as somewhat trivial or unworthy of a reply. I’m sure you receive a great number of questions. However, only a few minutes of consideration would be very useful. It is very difficult to share this matter with others.

My boyfriend and myself have been together for two years now and although the relationship is fantastic in most ways we have quite a big problem with sex. As my boyfriend is a little over a year younger than myself and has little sexual experience I did not expect sex to be instantly amazing. However, six months into our relationship we realised that the problem was a little more than his inexperience.

Erectile problems have now affected our relationship for 18 months and we are both finding it extremely stressful. Although I believe this stress will make things worse, my boyfriend strongly believes that the problem is physical. At the worst, we did not have intercourse for nearly two months. His body simply doesn’t seem to respond however much we both want it too and this is very frustrating, more so for my boyfriend.

If we were both 10 years older we probably wouldn’t question for a second going directly to a doctor, however, we are in our teens.

I feel that very few GPs would treat the problem sensitively or seriously, and that will just hurt my boyfriend more. Would it really be worth our while making an appointment somewhere?

I don’t believe that because we are young we do not deserve or understand a fulfilling sex life. Any serious suggestions would be much appreciated.
Answer

I don't think this problem is 'trivial' at all.

Your relationship has been badly affected by a clear-cut case of erectile dysfunction (ED), and this is causing you both a lot of stress.

It can be treated, as you can see from the article about erectile dysfunction.

You will see from this article that at your boyfriend’s age, it is rather unlikely that he has any physical problem.

I note that you live somewhere in West Yorkshire. In that area there are some youth advisory clinics that deal with sex problems in young men and women.

However, I suggest you (or rather your boyfriend) begin by ringing the Brook Advisory Service for Young People on 08000 185023.

Good luck!

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP

** source:www.netdoctor.co.uk