Top 10 Tips on How to Have a Happy and Successful Marriage

December 13, 2009

These will help you live a happy life together and keep your marriage strong.

1. Respect.

This is the most important element and foundation of a strong, happy and successful marriage. When there is respect, then the rest will follow naturally. Respect your spouse, including your spouse’s family and friends. The more respect you give, the more respect you will get in return.

2. Communicate.

Listen attentively and show your spouse that he/she is important. Find the time to discuss issues that are important to both of you. Unresolved issues that are put aside and grudges kept deep inside can hurt a marriage. When a problem arises, discuss on how to solve it together instead of putting the blame on each other. Open communication, honesty and trust are keys in building a happy and successful marriage.

3. Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated.

If you want to be treated extra special, then make an extra effort to make your spouse feel the same way. The kindness, sweetness, affection and love that you give will be reciprocated. Every day do at least one nice thing for your spouse. A marriage will not flourish if you do not exert time and effort. Give love, care and attention and you will be nurtured in return.

4. Recognize each other’s positive traits.
There is no denying that every person has positive and negative traits.

People get married to boost each other up and not to put each other down.

The marriage becomes healthy if you offer words of encouragement and focus on the positive traits of your spouse. If you feel something could be improved then say it in a constructive manner. Constructive criticism is helpful in maintaining a healthy marriage.

Happy and successful marriages happen when couples help each other improve and become better people.

5. Show appreciation.
Our schedule may be hectic and life may be chaotic with the daily chores that need to be done, but it doesn’t really take much to pause for a moment and say “thank you” to our spouse for the part that he/she has done. When people feel appreciated, they feel more inspired, and it just gives them a good overall feeling. This is true for any relationship in life. In marriage this promotes an even more closeness to each other. Marriages thrive when couples acknowledge each other’s efforts.

6. Work as a team.

Happy and successful couples work as a team whether it is in raising children, house work, managing finances, and balancing work and home. It is really tough to find time to get all the housework done, especially if both spouses are working and come home exhausted at the end of the day. Decide on how you can divide the job fairly in terms of cleaning, laundry, dishes, meal preparation, etc. Support each other and live as true partners.

7. Spend time with each other.

Go for a walk hand-in-hand in the park, or even just around the block. Watch a movie together. Pick a new recipe that you can explore and cook together. Play a sport together. Listen to your favorite music. Tell jokes. Play a card game. Pack along your favorite food and go for a picnic. Drive somewhere special. Have fun. Cherish each moment together.

When you make an effort to spend time together, the marriage remains strong and healthy.

8. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

There are always little things that get in the way and cause annoyance, irritation or anger.

Each person is different and one of the challenges of marriage is accepting and understanding each other’s differences. Try to come to a common understanding to avoid arguments. Be flexible and more open-minded. Don’t hold grudges in your heart for the small misunderstandings as this will impact your marriage in the long run.

9. Small gestures go a long way.

There are many small easy things you can do to really lighten up your spouse’s day and make him/her happy. Some examples are: write a little note for your spouse and leave it on the bathroom counter so he/she can see it first thing in the morning. Write things like “Good morning honey, take care. I love you”, or “Drive safely to work, see you later. I love you”. Give your spouse a random hug or kiss when he/she least expects it. At the end of the day when you see each other, greet warmly and ask how his/her day went. Help pack your spouse’s lunch and include a little note. Set up the table nicely so you can enjoy your meals together more. Or give little surprises such as a nice magazine of your spouse’s favorite topic or hobby. Most women love flowers. Surprise her with a bunch of flowers, or even a single stem of rose. These little gestures of love and affection work wonders in making the marriage really happy.

10. Don’t forget the blissful beginnings.

During the courtship, dating days and honeymoon stage, everything is blissful & life is full of roses. As time goes by and we encounter the daily challenges in life, the enthusiasm and excitement may subside. The love is there, but you may just be too tired to exert more effort in making the relationship as sweet and refreshed as it was in the beginning. There are many ways to maintain the marriage sweet and fresh. Enjoy looking at your photo albums together and for sure you will find memories to smile and laugh about together. Treasure the memories you created. Maintain the closeness by connecting throughout the day if possible, even for just a few minutes of phone call. Show affection such as a random hug. Say things that will touch your spouse’s heart, like “I’m really blessed to have you as my wife/husband, or “I can not imagine my life without you”, or “You are really my soul-mate and I’m glad to have you in my life”. These words will forever be remembered…

I hope you enjoyed these tips on how to have a happy, strong and successful marriage. Just remember that marriage is a complex thing and involves effort from both spouses to make it succeed. Marriage is a blessing to have. You can find much happiness if you put in the time and effort to make your marriage thrive. Enjoy each other’s company and help each other grow.